Making time for me

I feel like I am coming home from a long trip. Even though it has been over a week since I last posted, it feels more like a month or two. There really has been a lot going on with my life. Most of it I will be holding back, only because I need my privacy. I am not at that point yet where I can show or add more of my family or personal life to this blog.
Every day has felt like a roller coaster. My emotions have been in turmoil. I admit, being a single mom is hard. I struggled with almost everything imaginable. The family life is amazing though. I love my sons. We complete each other. Not a day goes by that we tell each other we love each other. The days begin and end with hugs and kisses. I got used to just being there every second. It never occurred to me that I was missing anything, because of our busy lives.
Two weeks ago, I stepped out of my comfort zone and accepted a date. I was pretty much nervous, because I haven't been out on one in a very long time. I didn't realize how much stress goes into getting ready for a date. I was close to vomiting due to the nervousness in my tummy. I almost called it off a few times. I kept thinking little stuff like "What if he doesn't like me?" and "What do we talk about?" or "Should I really do this?". It was really making me feel scared. And then a few hours before the date, he called and cancelled. I don't know how else to put it, but I felt relieved. Maybe that was a sign that it was too soon for me to try the dating scene. My son and I attend the ASU game, and I did meet up with the potential date, we talked. We made plans for a breakfast date. That didn't happen either. I was major disappointed to say the least. But I figured that it really wasn't time for me. I continued with my life, I thought about it for a few days.
And then my cousin and her boyfriend, set up a double date with one of their friends. I thought she was joking, and agreed. So a few days later we went out to dinner at a sports bar. I was sort of nervous and expecting the worst. My first impression was "nice", "handsome" and just... "fun". The beginning was awkward, because we didn't know each other at all. I mean living in my hometown for the past many year, I have never heard of him or ran into him. Which is very rare... considering my hometown is small. So anyway, we started chatting and I learned a lot about him. We played pool, I laughed. Oh, I haven't laughed so much in a long time, so it was refreshing to just enjoy myself. I had fun and enjoyed my time. He paid for my meal, drinks and it floored me. I was waiting to pay my share, because I thought that that is how modern dating is these days. The next night my cousin was celebrating her birthday, so I had asked him to join us. He did. And we had a fun time, laughing, joking and just talking. I learned a lot more. We have a few things in common, which is good in my book.
So these past weeks I have been busy with making that move to going out and experiencing the dating scene. So far, it has been pleasant. I don't know what will happen, but I like new adventures. I am looking forward to whatever comes my way.

Yesterday my friend, Jo, and I hiked a mountain behind my work. We have hiked it many times, but this was the first time in so long. So I already knew it would be harder for me. Once we reached the top, we decided to go down the other side of the mountain and come back up. We learned our lesson. haha. It was a very hard and strenuous hike. I loved every minute even though I was breathing really hard and my legs were aching. As much as I wanted to stop and give up, I kept moving. By the time we reached the top and came back down the other side, our legs were shaking. We were red in the face with sweat dripping down our faces. It was the perfect way to end a long day. I loved the challenge, and I look forward to beating our time. It was also a stress reliever. I felt so much better.

So pretty much, I had so much on my plate, and I am slowly clearing it off. I am enjoying every minute of my life. I am focused and I am happy. These few weeks have changed me in many ways and I am glad for the bad and good of it all.
Have a great weekend. This will be our first weekend with no football games, which I am really sad about. But we get our weekends back, and I plan to spend it at home. I have all the October goals to check off.